Fighting Fear with Blueberry French Toast

18 years – I remember when 9-11 happened.  My children were young and in school and my husband was traveling for business.  After the children were in bed that night I felt so helpless – so emotionally exhausted yet I knew I was not ready for sleep.  Turning on the TV would just be listening to words – seeing images I had repeatedly absorbed throughout the day.  I wanted to protect my children from a world that these unspeakable things could happen knowing deep in my heart there are only so many things a mother has control of.  So the question came to my mind – “What do you have control over?”  “How can you love your children in this time of uncertainty?”  For me – it was giving them something they enjoyed – something that had a proven track record of happiness.  For me – this would be accomplished in my kitchen.  And so I set about pulling the ingredients out on my counter for Blueberry French Toast – a lovely recipe that sits in refrigerator overnight and is baked in the oven.  In the past the smell of this baking would bring huge smiles to little faces.  I was just hoping that it would remind us that there have been happy times in the past and in faith and hope we could look forward to good times in the future.  So I cut the french bread in small pieces and mixed up the eggs and milk.  Each task was a balm to my soul. I took each piece of bread and dipped it into the wet mixture and placed it in the greased pan.  Perhaps this is how we would heal – one deliberate task of love at a time.  That recipe encouraged me to move at a time where it would be so easy to get stuck in front of our tvs, computers, newspapers for the next new tidbit of a horrific event. Our country doesn’t need people who sit – no, our country needs people who will reach out and start moving with loving actions one person at a time.